Tourists tend to be attracted to Loch Ness for its infamous Lake Monster, Nessie. I guess even Top Gear personnel have the right to holiday in Scotland – The Stig, another mythical being, was spotted hunting down the Loch Monster. According to sources, “The helmeted figure was spotted by Michael Booth, 36, of Middlesbrough. He said: ‘He didn’t have his helmet off, or one Loch Ness mystery might have been solved.’”

The Stig’s official identity of the BBC’s Top Gear test-driver has never been confirmed. Some insist there’s more than one Stig: with Formula 1 legend Michael Schumacher and Damon Hill both rumored to have donned the white helmet.

In the past, we’ve guessed Top Gear’s test drive The Stig is Barack Obama, Hilary Clinton and even Al Bundy. Now the true identity of Stiggy can no longer be hidden – as the boys over on BBC revealed our favorite driver to be none other then Formula 1 legend Michael Schumacher. But do they really expect us to believe it?

Ok, Schumacher may be one of many Stigs to come and go through the long run of Top Gear’s television series. There have been at least two (or three?) other British fellows claiming to be the famous masked racer – and once they revealed to the world what duties the job included, they were quickly fired. As Jalopnik pointed out in a recent post – The Stig has been fat, skinny, black, white, etc.

Why does Schumacher get the nod as Stiggy? And how can we prove or disprove this being his actual identity? Over th years, Top Gear has filmed throughout England, but never with live Stig appearances. We could attempt to piece together filming locations and periods and try matching them with Schumacher being off at the races. But frankly that would take too much time. We’d like to think there are at least two Stigs at any given moment – one who actually drives and another who poses for ads and emerges from an ocean covered in seaweed. We give all the folks over at BBC credit for trying to finally put this whole secret identity thing to rest. But there are too many hardcore Gear heads out there who will not rest until the REAL Stig finally comes clean about who he, she or it is. Personally, I’d like to this The Stig is really baseball icon Kenny Powers.

The Stig – UK’s most elusive celebrity. Some say he is man, others alien. Personally, I think he is from another dimension – possibly brought to this world by some freak accident involving Doctor Who & his TARDIS. Nonetheless, Top Gear’s #1 test driver has been spotted at home through the magic of the newly introduced Google Street View UK.

We see Stiggy in a very unnatural habitat – suiting up in all white at what appears to be an office building. Perhaps he was just disconnected from his robotic recharging post and is about to be teleported to a nearby race track to test drive the new Nissan GT-R. That’s only a theory, of course.

Top Gear fans will remember the Black Stig – who, as rumor has it, died in a tragic gardening accident. Or so we thought…Because the Black Stig is BACK! Of course, this has nothing to do with the outing of The Stig’s identity.

Well, actually, UK paper The Telegraph knows, as they leaked a few glimpses into the life of the person behind the wheel during TV’s Top Gear test drives. His (or her) identity has always remained a secret, and speculation into a true identity has ranged from Top Gear host Jeremy Clarkson to ex-Formula One racers.

Finally, the day has come. We don’t know his name, but according to the Telegraph, The Stig is “…a married man, who lives in a comfortable £300,000 home and drives an unglamorous £15,000 car.” Wait, what? a 15K automobile? And married – MARRIED??!! How can this be?? This ruins all our sexual fantasies! (Or maybe it makes them juicer.) “He found his first track outing when he was younger ‘terrifying’ but this did not stop him from racing in Formula First, GT Racing and Stock Cars, while he almost made it to Formula One. He is in his 30s, and earns around £150,000 a year combining his Top Gear job with some stunt and test driving.”

Now we have a better concept of who lies behind the helmet as the mystery daredevil “Stig” – a regular Joe. Our Automopedia forensic scientists have gathered their evidence and can now theorize a definitive Stig identity:

Who is The Stig?

Joe the Plumber

During 2008′s US Presidential race he was the quintessential “All American” – and the pinnacle of your average working class hero. Has his fame finally revealed his true self – a British stunt driver??

Al Bundy

You don’t get more working class hero than Al Bundy, star of the classic sitcom Married…With Children. Since then the rolls for actor Ed O’Neil haven’t come rolling in, maybe it’s because he’s too busy with all those road tests?

Barack Obama

 Obama claimed victory over the hearts of America’s middle class, will his first campaign promise in office be to order the mass production of diesel powered roadsters?

Hilary Clinton

 Hilary has been known to go to extreme lengths in order to win over working class votes. Perhaps that white jumpsuit is hiding an orange pantsuit.

Rip Taylor

 We have no evidence that Rip is The Stig, but it would be a funny bit for Top Gear to tease their revelation on an episode, only to remove his helmet and have Mr. Taylor be underneath, with a pocket of confetti of course.

David Tennant

Beloved star of BBC’s hit Doctor Who has admitted he will be leaving the scifi series after 2009, is it because there are too many cars for him to be racing?