It’s Labor Day folks, time to get on your John Deere tractor and hitch up the young’ins for a trip down I-95. Whether your loadin’ up the wagon or piling into the general store with your Chevy, you could not ask for a better time to explore the Land of the Free. Ya’ll need the right type of transportation first. You can’t take a trip through the southern states in some fancy city lovin’ Mar-Cedes Benz.

Now these fellers got the right idea – Hells bells, you could fit a family of six inside that late model Mercury. This puppy would also make a perfect rally car or destruction derby racer. Just slap on a number, some ironic slogan and local sponsorship from Tim’s Bait & Tackle and get on the track. ‘Course they should probably get some rubber on them rims first.

Speaking of rubber, if you’re making this trip in a one-ton pickup no proud redneck should never leave the farm without a big pair of Truck Nuts on your tailpipe. It’s the only true way to show off some hillbilly manliness – no one’s Silverado or F-150 can be complete without a set.

If you want to bring the extended family along you have to get a little creative. This Redneck Limo is the perfect example of just what to do when you don’t want your mother-in-law hassling everyone from the seat behind ya – plop her be-hind 6 rows back, with the dawgs and little ones.

If you want to strike out by your lonesome but the misses needs you to finish mowin’, there’s plenty of ways to kill two birddogs with one buckshot. Imagine having all your property trimmed in about 3 minutes with this John Deere Motorcycle. After that you can take off to the Dude Ranch and kick back with a MGD.

These folks got the spirit but they’re doin’ it all wrong!

Well here’s a redneck sports car dream come true – nothing says “boy howdy!” better then an off-roadin’ Pontiac Firebird. It’s also a great way to not only see past traffic, but get rite on over it. Now that you’ve picked your mode of backwoods transportation it’s good practice to have the right style to fit each ride.

My cousin Jim Bob Esq. has always been the height of fashion in the greater Deerlick region. He shuns the typical Daytona 500 t-shirt for a more natural look. He’s a real success story in our family; his beer bottle return business has helped achieve the biggest houseboat anyone in this area has seen.

Now all our misses are ready to hit the waves with their homemade bathing suits. In fact, the rest of the clan is just bout ready for a drive to the Redneck Inn and a weekend of gorgeous weather, riding the tire swing over the swimin’ hole the lake, and keeping it in the family…road trips that is!