What Would You Do With A $34 Billion Dollar Bailout?
What did the Big Three (General Motors, Chrysler and Ford) do after they flew expensive private jets to Washington DC, begged for a $25 billion bailout loan and were turned down? Each drove a hybrid car from their respective makes back to DC to beg for $34 billion in bailout loans. How is it these guys got to be heads of major automotive companies? According to a recent CNN poll, 61% of you are against bailing out these car makers, stating the mismanaging of funds pretty much caused their businesses to come crashing down around them, leaving both white and blue collar works in its wake. So, if Congress handed you a $34 Billion dollar paycheck, what could you do with it?
Purchase A Small Island
There are small islands for sale all over the world, and like time shares you too can own one, or two, and build a summer home on each. According to Private Islands Online, you can put down as little as $215,000 for some small land masses off North American shores. With $34B you can purchase 158,000 island, but you should probably save a little cash left for a boat to go buy food.
Get A Ticket On A Space Flight
Space tourism is a new industry, but soon enough anyone will be able to purchase a ticket to ride around Earth and maybe to other planets. Celebrities and business moguls are spending anywhere from 1 to 5 million a ticket on such flights. If you’d rather invest, throw some of those billions at NASA – they need a bailout as badly as car companies.
Hire Movie Stars To Perform In Your Mansion
You’ve got the island, a huge house, and a ticket to Mars for next year. So what’s up in the mean time to cure your boredom? Hire Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie to recreate action scenes from Mr. & Mrs. Smith in the living room! You can have Seinfeld reenact their series finale, just don’t talk over Kramer’s lines, Michael Richards doesn’t respond well to hecklers.
Dude, You’re Getting Your Own Large Hadron Collider
Yeah dude, you too can have a personal atom smasher to help bring in the end of days! With a price tag over $6 billion (plus repairs estimated at $21 billion) you’ll have enough left over to hire a group of henchmen to battle whatever superheroes attempt to destroy it before you make Gotham City crumble at your feet.
Recreate Jurassic Park In Your Back Yard
It’s a common belief in the scientific world that Raptors and T-rex’s would not make great household pets. But since we haven’t seen how they react in present day, whose to say they wouldn’t? What better animal around to protect your kids from strangers than a violent, blood thirst, 500lb lizard/bird hybrid. The research on DNA recombination has already been done – all you have to do is fund your own dinosaur petting zoo!
Purchase Guantanamo Bay And Imprison The Big Three CEO’s
They mismanaged millions upon millions of dollars for years, have laid off thousands of blue and now even white collar workers, and continue to produce eco-unfriendly and poorly made products. Now they want free money to (probably) mismanage again. How about we re-stack the deck with new executives, and send the old CEO’s some place where there is plenty of time to think things over.
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